ays daily that it does not.
But that’s not all: “Under the gray-asexual umbrella, which is sometimes referred to as grassexual, there is a group called demigray—which is on the lower end of the ‘gray-scale,’” Dr. Sutker explains. “It’s basically the idea that you could experience sexual attraction to someone, but it’s still going to be much milder, and it’s still going to require that you have a deep emotional bond with the person in order for that to happen.”
How to support a demisexual person?
Like so many other sexual and romantic identities, demisexuality is rarely talked about. In a world that appreciates locker room talk, the conversation often stops here. Even if you don’t think you know anybody who identifies as demisexual, chances are you still know someone who is.
The best way to support a demisexual friend is to learn about and accept the identity. Validate their experience, be understanding of it, and approach them with kindness.
“The most important thing with demisexuals is to be understanding of the fact that they might need a bit more time to fall for someone,” Goldstein says. “For some, it may be sex kind of first before feelings and that’s totally okay. But don’t forget that for demis, these feelings are required before anything else can really happen.”
All in all, sexuality is fluid—although demisexuality is unique, it’s nothing to be scared of. In fact, it can be liberating. If a strong emotional connection is necessary for a demisexual to feel sexual desire, you’re likely to discover an intensity in your sexual relationship you’d missed before. If understanding and accommodating your demisexual identity can give you this, it can only be a good thing.